Detailed

Help me. I'm drowning in details.

I can see them swarm around me. Toole flows about my ankles, growing deeper by the minute. Silk flowers rain from above in a mass so thick that it threatens to replace the very air I breathe. Ribbons bind my wrists as the sky behind me takes on dangerous hues of coral, lemon yellow, and medium gray.

Once a wise woman told me never to plan a wedding while in college. To this, my response was a dismissive smile and a giggle. I had decided that, if the opportunity arose, I would be planning my own wedding and making the same mistake three years down the road. But how could I have known what I was getting into? I've always considered myself creative and crafty. And with the plethora of DIY that is Pintrest at my fingertips, my wedding planning would not only be easy, but fun.

But, oh, the details! Weighing many ideas against a budget. Accounting for assembly time. Multiplying everything by either the number tables or number of guests. Visiting the same store multiple times to use different coupons. Which florist? Too expensive. Can we order in bulk? Centerpieces? Oh, but this would look better. And Libby, what does your dream bouquet look like?

My dream bouquet would appear out of thin air into my waiting hands exactly two seconds before I walk down the aisle.

But during this busy season of my life, my Bible has laid on my desk, quietly. As I spent the semester balancing two jobs, three lab courses, choral participation, graduation prep, the grad school search, and a wedding, I forgot why I was doing it all. Surely God would understand. I mean, Jesus went to weddings... And he's certainly seen a few over the years. He would understand my need for a break from daily scripture reading. Unfortunately, I didn't understand how detrimental such a break would be for myself.

I think I've finally figured something out. It's not the act of reading the Bible that produces in us some sort of magical peace and quiet strength. Disciplining myself to read a passage or two every day does nothing more than provide another detail for me to worry about. But the days when I can let go of the details for even a few seconds and talk to God as if He was sitting next to me... those are moments of peace that strengthen me even when it seems like the whole world wants to know whether or not we will have ushers or who gets a corsage. Sometimes my Bible is open, sometimes it's not. But just because the Bible is the Word of God doesn't mean that this is the only way that God speaks to us. Neglecting to read my Bible left me feeling very alone. And not because I wasn't reading/doing, but because I wasn't listening.

Once upon a time, a woman named Martha had Jesus as a guest. She cooked a nice dinner and fussed over all the details. Her sister, however, didn't help. She sat at Jesus' feet and listened. Of course Martha was mad! This was the most important dinner she would ever cook and she needed her sister's help. In her frustration, Martha forgot propriety and complained about her sister to Jesus. Jesus probably smiled and rolled his eyes. "My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her."
-Luke 10:41b-42 (NLT)

May I find and hold on to the only thing worth all the time and effort.